Dear Internet Users galore.....

I have noticed lately the great misuses of the HAHA.

Now I know that things are often taken more seriously over text messaging/instant messaging, but do you really need to say HAHA at the beginning of every sentence?

I mean if we're being honest here, which I generally am, HAHA is a replacement for laughing. If the worst offenders of the HAHA actually laughed before every sentence they said I would not care to be in conversation with one.

There is only one person I know who uses the HAHA before or after every sentence and also laughs that often in life. I don't talk to this person.

Here are a few sentences that demonstrate its misuse.

1. Didn't get a callback. HAHA
This could be appropriate if you are a white man auditioning for the role of the king in the "King and I" But in this curious situation what would be more appropriate would have been this sentence. I DID get a callback HAHA

2. We need to hang out HAHA!!
If someone was talking to me in real life and guffawed after they asked me to hang out with them I would indeed take personal offense.

3. HAPPY BIRTHDAY. HAHA
Are you really that insecure that you can't say Happy Birthday to someone without nervously laughing afterwards. Are you nervous that it really isn't their birthday?? If so check Facebook.

4.HAHA I cut my hair.
If this is your status update I WILL laugh at you when I see you and point to your hair.

5. My dog died. HAHA
I know you are trying to make it less awkward for readers when we see this sad news, but again this would make me congratulate you on getting rid of an animal you clearly didn't like.


In closing, I know I get on people all the time for HAHA, lol, emoticons etc. and I am trying to have a more open mind. Just today I used at least three emoticons in conversing with others and even one HAHA, but I refuse to think you are a real live human unless you can curb the insanity HAHA.

JENNY

Dear God....

So grateful he wasn't gay but.........

The other day I'm coming home really late on the subway. So late, in fact, that the Subway doesn't leave for a good 40 minutes after I get on it. It's the A train so it is scattered with members from the homeless community and a few middle aged African American Men. Right before the train leaves this guy hops on at the other end of the train. He is deliciously handsome. He looks about thirty five and has gray hair which I oddly love and is dressed really hip. You know the whole plaid shirt and tie with cool casual jacket thing. We make eyes for a little bit, but shortly after I became extremely engrossed in Jen Lancaster's book "Bitter is the New Black" (Very funny-good read) after a couple of stops I see him get up and I think he is exiting the train when he walks straight towards me and plops down on the seat next to me. We started having a lovely, normal conversation which was a relief to me because I had worried that my giving him eyes had made him think I was "sealing the deal" if you know what I mean.

Anywhoo.....the conversation was flowing and he was still cute close up so when he asked for my number I was more than happy to oblige.

As we were nearing time square where we would be splitting up he asked me what I had been doing up in Washington Heights. I replied that I had been babysitting some of my friends children. I asked him what he had been doing up there and he said working.

I naively asked him what he did for work. He Immediately got super awkward and blurted out, "Complicated....it's really complicated."

I, of course, thinking nothing of it said, "Well, what is it."

"Complicated...."

"Okay well you don't have to tell me." I kindly stated as I realized the subject at the other end of the conversation was starting to turn shades of green.

But if you know me at all you know I don't give up that easily.

I continued to allude to his Mysterious Job until he finally broke.


"Well I guess I can tell you, but I can't say it aloud."


He then preceded to write something down on a small receipt he had in his bag.


I DELIVER MARIJUANA






So in closing God....I know he isn't gay...but REALLY?????



p.s. remember how I gave him my number before that? He actually called me to have lunch with him in the middle of a deal yesterday...WHAT THE??

Dear Young teenage girls everywhere.....

I really need you to go and see this AWESOME new movie called "NEW MOON" :)

It is probably the best movie I've seen in a really long time. I mean, I totally relate..you know!??

It's so refreshing that someone finally made a movie that is relatable.

Ummmmm......before I get into the meat of this post can I just give a little shoutout for TEAM JACOB!!!!! He is SO SO SO SO HOT!! OMG I really hate Taylor Swift. I really really hate her.

1st of all I am REALLY glad that my parents can finally see that I am a NORMAL teenager. Like, I mean, I know I'm not like super happy all the time and have a really hard time making good decisions but HELLO!!! Bella does too, and she is SO pretty.

And I almost cried when Edward had to leave Bella!!! I mean can you even BELIEVE that there are guys out there that could care that much about you to leave you because they know that in the end they will only hurt you.

(I have this boyfriend my parents always rag on because he breaks up with me all the time because he doesn't wanna hurt me....they say dirtbag I say WATCH NEW MOON)

Well I guess I really didn't end up doing a synopsis but I just really needed to get this on the table.

THANK YOU THANK YOU Stephanie Meyers. You are a dream!!!

Dear Angelina Jolie.....

Your family sort of looks like the interior of the subway I take home.

Not Appropriate??

Oops.

Dear Investors.....

I have an idea for a show.

"AMERICA'S NEXT HOMELESS IDOL!!"

You see, being here in New York I amazed at the unseen talent that I get to see daily on the subway, off the subway, and in scary dark alleys.


I mean just the other day I heard a 50 year old black man sing "Ave Maria" in a soprano's key. I mean THAT is talent.

We could make it a webseries where people vote.

And the Winner gets......A HOME!!!!!

Dear certain girls.....

I would worry that you would be offended but I doubt you would know who you are.

Please stop giving relationship advice when you have never been in a relationship.

By this I mean, PLEASE stop being every handsome mans best friend so that you can sway them out of any potential relationship because of jealousy.


(you know the type right)

Oh yes, and to the extremely daft....

When you are in a room with a boy and a girl who have been in and out of a long relationship perhaps you should not Flirt and or Kiss the boy in front of said girl.
I mean I know you would NEVER mean to do something so inconsiderate (yeah right) but seriously learn how to gain some tact.

LOL JK ;0

but seriously

Dear God......

Here are some questions I will be discussing with you when I get to the pearly gates...Assuming YOU LET ME IN.

1. Periods... Really?? are they totally necassary? I realize that you are perfect and all, but I'm starting to believe that this was a pre-perfect mistake. Unless you hate women......Now THAT would make sense.

2. I have no other topic to discuss at this time. Why you ask?? I'm PMSing.

Dear Ward....

I'm sorry, but NEVER send me a text like this again.

THIS TEXT IS TO INFORM YOU THAT
YOUR TEMPORARY TEMPLE RECOMMEND
HAS EXPIRED. PLEASE CALL THIS
NUMBER TO RENEW....

Last time I checked I wasn't baptized a member of Blockbuster.

Lets keep it that way.

Dear Net Nanny.....

Thanks for cluing me in on my SINNER friends.

At my parents house, where I can often be found, we have NET NANNY on our computers.
This is really helpful for many things. I can't open my Victoria Secret emails, which is great because lets me honest, its basically porn. I can't access any bathing suits online, which is uber helpful, because they just really turn me on. And it is SO much easier to judge my friends without having to even read their blogs.

You see Net Nanny flashes a page that tells you why it has judged the page as unworthy to read, and will give you a brief description as to why.

Here are things I NOW KNOW about my friends.

SETH: gambles (spirit prison for SURE) www.ednas-blog.blogspot.com
WYATT: Adult Content (Wyatt, stop being so gratuitous) www.wy-wy.blogspot.com
NATALIE: Sex (The word Sex is in the title of her blog. Natalie, some of us DON"T want to have to see that word everyday. SOOOOO insensitive) www.mormoninmanhattan.blogspot.com.
Perez Hilton is OFF LIMITS

It is now so thorough that many of my friends facebook pages are blocked off as well.

HOLLAH!!! I love knowing that I will never have to see another page with a Scantily Clad women in a bathing suit hangs around a Casino. There have been WAY too many close calls.......

Dear God.....

Thank you for inspiring someone to make this video.

Dear people.....

I'm not one for bringing serious subjects into my bloggity blog world but I have something to gripe about.

I am by no means perfect (any ex-boyfriend could tell you that) but if you are going to be judgey mc judging someone maybe you should look at your life a wee little bit.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people, to save face, slander others with their SAME problems.

Example: Closeted Gay Man: "OMG!! did you hear about so and so. They are totally gay. OMG...that's so disgusting. What is this world coming to!"

ME: Thinking to my self "OMG!! did I just hear that right? because I totally saw closeted making out with one of my besties* just two nights previous.

*For those of you who don't know me well, my besties are always men.

We all know the casting stones thing.
Heaven knows I do it enough.
But just so you know...you aren't fooling anyone.

Dear Italian Man.....

You helped me to the airport, You carried my bags, and you kissed me.

I thought....#1. I LOVE NEW YORK
#2. You better not have oral herpes.



p.s. I don't remember your name.

Dear people who won't be offended....

Okay, so I guess there has been some MAJOR controversy over this website.
Is it bad that I think it is hilarious? probably....probably.

WHY MORMON GIRLS STAY SINGLE????

Dear Everyone.....

YOU MUST WATCH THIS....

Dear Wednesday....

I LOVED YOU THIS WEEK!!!


I Read three chapters in this lovely book for the THIRD time.

Jumped on the bed with the current love of my life.


And watched the season finale of this show!!!



Now I may RIP.

Dear Braden....

Thanks for making me laugh once again.


You can imagine after my FIRST trip to the BIG APPLE that I would have a lot of stories to tell, but in true Latimer fashion the stories of my showcase and interviews were quickly brushed aside, and my little brothers and sisters asked for less Theatre and more homeless man peeing on the corner.

They couldn't stop laughing as I would relay my misfortune of leaving the hot dirty subway only to step in a puddle of urine in the corner of the stairway.

Braden thought it was the most hysterical thing ever and made comments all night like, "I'm not going to be a basketball player when I grow up....I'm going to live in the subway." He would then look at me with this look which inferred that living in the subway would also mean peeing in the subway.

Later on I expressed how much I missed the Fresh Flowers on the corner in the city. I was just describing how my new york apartment would be lit up by peonies when Braden chirped up. "Wait, how can they have flowers in the corner? Won't they be numbered on?"

Numbered on???

It took me mere seconds to understand what my wee brother was trying to say.

Peed on.

Get it??

Number 1 and Number 2

In my conservative home Pee is a very bad word...........

and I have to cut this post short because I gotta go number.

Dear Joe.......

read a book

Dear Cole Webley...

Thanks for letting me do this spec ad.....
http://colewebley.com/index.php?/kodak/

Dear Asian Lady.....

I know that as you drove past me today wearing a mask that you probably had some very good reason, but I immediately thought you had SARS. I was scared.

Dear Ole Man of Mine.....

Remember that one time when you said I had a pin head??

Yeah, me too.